EP 265 — Body Doubling: The Most Underused ADHD Hack

Why is it so much easier to get things done when someone else is around? In this episode, we break down body doubling — one of the simplest yet most effective tools for ADHD. Learn why your brain works better with someone nearby, how it boosts focus and reduces procrastination, and how to use it in your work, personal life, and relationships. If you’ve ever struggled to start tasks alone but thrive in shared environments, this episode will show you how to use that to your advantage.

Transcript

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Hello and welcome back to And How Does That Make You Feel, an Awakened Podcast. I'm Jack, therapist and founder of Awaken Online Therapy, and today we're discussing body doubling, which is the ADHD tool that actually gets you moving. So let me start with something that might sound strange, but if you have ADHD, it might feel instantly familiar. You can't start a task on your own. But the moment someone else is in the room, you suddenly can. And you might struggle to get work done alone but focus well on a cafe. Avoid cleaning but do it easily when someone's around. Procrastinate all day but then get things done when a friend is nearby. And you sit there thinking, why does my brain only work when someone else is here? That isn't random and it's not a weakness, it's something called body doubling. And it's one of the simplest and most effective ADHD tools we use. So firstly, what is body doubling? Let's define it simply. Body doubling is doing a task in the presence of another person. That's it. They don't need to help you, they don't even need to talk to you, they just need to be there. So for example, it might be studying with someone, working in a coffee shop, cleaning while a friend sits nearby, being on a Zoom call while both of you do your own tasks, or even sitting next to someone while you do admin. The key point, it's not about collaboration, it's about co-presence. So why does body doubling work so well? Firstly, it helps with external regulation. ADHD brains struggle with internal regulation. That means starting tasks, staying focused, maintaining effort. So when someone else is present, your brain borrows regulation from them. It's like this alone means no structure, no urgency, no pressure, no activation. But with someone you can have structure, awareness, subtle accountability, and an increased level of focus. Secondly, you get increased dopamine. We've talked about dopamine before. ADHD brains need stimulation to activate, and people are stimulating. Even passive presence adds social awareness, mild pressure, and environmental energy, which in turn increases engagement in the task you're doing. Third, attention anchoring. When you're alone, your attention drifts easily. With someone there, your brain has an anchor. You're less likely to switch tasks, pick up your phone, and leave the task completely. And fourth, reduced isolation. ADHD often feels isolating. Tasks feel heavier when you're alone. With someone else, the task might feel shared even if it isn't. So why do you actually struggle alone? This is an important thing to get to grips with. Most people think if I can't do it alone, something's wrong with me. But actually, your brain is not designed to self-regulate in isolation, and that's completely okay. Think about it this way: humans evolve to work in groups, in shared environments, and with social structure. So expecting yourself to sit alone, focus for hours, and self-motivate constantly is already a stretch. So here are some real life examples where this shows up. Firstly, working and studying. If you sit alone, you're gonna procrastinate, you're gonna feel stuck, you're gonna scroll, you're gonna avoid. But in a coffee shop, you might suddenly focus better, stay on task, feel more productive. That is an example of body doubling. A second example might be cleaning and household tasks. Alone, it can feel overwhelming, avoided, and delayed. But with someone, you might start, you might keep going, and you might even finish more. And the next, the most obvious example, admin and life tasks. Things like emails, booking appointments, paying bills, no one wants to do them and they feel so heavy doing them alone. But it's so much easier with someone present. And the fourth one that you might already be doing but don't even notice is exercise. Most people struggle to find the internal motivation to exercise by themselves, but they do it fine with a gym partner, a class, or someone expecting you. So, how can you actually use body doubling? And let's get into how you can actually apply this. Firstly, there's in-person body doubling. This is the simplest version. So, for example, it might be working next to a friend, studying together, sitting in a coffee shop, doing live admin together, or even cleaning while someone else is around. The important part of this is you don't actually need to talk. You don't even need to interact constantly. You just need to be there with each other and that is enough. Secondly, you've got the option of virtual body doubling. If you can't meet in person, use video calls. Some examples might be a Zoom call with the camera on, both of you working silently and occasionally checking in. It's even better if you're able to set a structure with each other. For example, let's work for 25 minutes and then have a quick check-in after. The third option is passive body doubling. This is less obvious, but it does still work. Some examples might be working in a coffee shop, a library, or even a shared working space. You don't know the people, but their presence there still actually helps you. So how can you build it into your routine? Instead of saying I'll do this later, we need to start getting on board with when can I do this with someone? Some examples might be weekly co-working sessions, study calls, gym with a friend, shared admin hour, or even cleaning with music and someone nearby. Make it regular, don't rely on random moments. We need to schedule it. It's going to have a huge impact on your relationships too. Why? Because ADHD often leads to avoidance, delays, forgetting and not following through, which can get misinterpreted as you do not care. But with body doubling, you can say, can we sit together while I do this? Let's do this at the same time. Can you just be here while I sort this out? That creates connection, progress, and less tension in a relationship. So what do people actually get wrong about body doubling? Because obviously it feels so simple. The first thing is the idea that you should be able to do this alone. No. Firstly, we've already talked about the evolutionary component, but it's just not how the brain works. Secondly, it's a crutch. No, this is a strategy, it's a tool, it's something that's going to help you. Third, I'm being dependent. Again, no, you're using a strategy, an external structure to help you get things done that you want to get done. So a reframe could be this. I'm not falling apart, I'm simply adapting to how my brain works so I can actually get things done. So what are some options of when it won't work? Because body doubling isn't magic, it's not going to work every single moment of the time. It won't help if you don't know what the task is. If the task is too big, if there's no structure, or if you're completely burnt out. So you need to pair it with task breakdown, which we've already talked about, clear next steps, again, which we've talked about, and time limits. So overall, here is all it comes down to. ADHD is not just about focus, it's about needing external structure to activate. And people, they are one of the strongest forms of structure. So if you do take one thing from this episode today, let it be this. You don't have to do everything alone. And more importantly, you're actually not supposed to. It's just not how we mentally work. Bodily doubling works so well because it increases focus, it reduces resistance, it creates momentum, and it makes tasks feel lighter. So instead of forcing yourself to just do it alone, ask yourself, who can I do this with? Because sometimes that's the difference between staying stuck and actually getting started. As always, thank you so much for listening. And if you have found this podcast useful, feel free to share it with a friend or even rate us five stars on your streaming platform of choice. It really does help us reach more people. I've been Jack, and this has been And How Does That Make You Feel an Awakened Podcast, and I'll see you at the next one.